Wednesday, 20 July 2011

An Ode To Shit Poetry Used In McDonalds Adverts

For the scutters and munters
the spotty single mothers
the shut up and eat yer burger mums
daddy'll be back soon, he's out running errands and guns
Extra-large fries, quick before he cries
little miracle got scurvy?
try another fucking McFlurry.

For the shell-suited pimps
one leg rolled up, scavving fag-dimps
dole cheque not cleared yet? Lifesaver: Poundsaver
Look to the spotty kid serving with four stars on his chest
We need no fortune teller - this is your future at its best.

For "4-Big-Macs" guy who orders two Sprites
And the "DIET coke" lady who sneaks in an apple pie
For the sexy young professionals WHO DON'T FUCKING EAT HERE
and the young, slender models who feel tangible fear
We know it's unhealthy and we know you do too
But rejoice: Happy Meal toys! Salads! FRUIT!

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