I've never cut someone's head off

Sauce: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/hampshire/8320753.stm

Okay, Whiskas, I'm Calling Your Bluff

"Food cats would naturally choose" eh? I'm thinking back, but I honestly can't remember the last time I saw a cat foraging for root vegetables...

New Ryanair Surcharge!!

Under extreme pressure from Eastern European governments worried that their cities are being turned into Blackpool by lager-swilling groups of lads from Britain, Ryanair are planning to introduce a new surcharge, based upon the IQ of the traveller.
Finally a surcharge I can get on board with!

Unions: Still Relevant

Working hard in your name.

Captain Obvious's First Day Editing The BBC News Feed

Schwerps

Schwerps verb (schwerpsed, schwerpsing). intrans (usually to schwerps someone) to behave in a playful sexual manner, to seduce, to make sexual advances. noun someone who schwerpses.
ETYMOLOGY: God knows.

You've Gone Too Far, Bear

Manhattan Knows Best

 
Fun Fact™: Scanned from my own copy of Watchmen.  I'd never read a graphic novel before I was given it for Christmas a few years back, and was pleasantly surprised.

Fill The Hole In My Soul, Interest Free

Gossip: Gimmicks. You're doing them wrong.