Passing The Working Day

Burned-Out Britain

2012-01-25T12:31:00.001Z

OK, BBC, I accept things aren't exactly sweetness and light here in the UK, but really? Is a picture of a burned-out car an appropriate analogy for the state of our nation?

Shake it Baby!

2012-01-25T12:12:00.001Z

This morning I noticed my deodorant carries the same instructions as British Nannies.

Fun fact: Louise Woodward is now a dance instructor. The more you know...

Computer Science 101

2012-01-19T14:24:00.000Z

I Have Made it With a Woman! Inform The Men.

2012-01-19T14:16:00.000Z

Vada a bordo, cazzo!

A Rapper With Problems Considerably Greater Than Those of Jay-Z

2012-01-11T15:33:00.000Z

Not a LOL, but Russell Jones' aka Ol' Dirty Bastard's FBI File has been released. *pours 40 on sidewalk*

My MP, the doctor.

2012-01-09T09:00:00.000Z

(sauce: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-16443240)

Not content with ruining the country, MPs are now embarking on an exciting new game wherein they will attempt to ruin everyone's lives.

In other news, my GP is of the opinion that the ongoing military spending on deployments in...lol

You see?

Worms!

2012-01-06T12:40:00.001Z

I bet it was this little fucker.

Never trusted him since he stitched Sara right up.

This isn't normal. On The Internet it is!

2011-12-29T09:58:00.000Z

North Korea: The Game

2011-12-23T12:03:00.001Z

RIP Kimmie.

We will miss your insanity and your penchant for Just For Men hair dye products.

Why I Work From Home

2011-12-07T13:50:00.001Z

I decide to go into the office for the first time in a long time. Come home. Find this. What do?

Sinister, Much?

2011-12-02T17:08:00.001Z

Frederick & Rosemary: A match made in heaven.

The Combo Breaking Title

edit: y'all best be clicking that image and viewing that full size y'hear!

Well I'll be!

2011-12-01T12:29:00.001Z

No rain = no water. The more you know!

Oh, The Irony!

2011-11-01T08:49:00.003Z

That's a great exchange rate

2011-10-20T06:27:00.000+01:00

Google: frighteningly up-to-date...

Hollywood, Y U No Post No Original Content?

2011-09-19T16:20:00.001+01:00

Why Have They Waited So Long To Tell Us?

2011-09-19T11:14:00.002+01:00

Sauce: The Hacks at The Express

Other fine articles by this God among journalists: http://journalisted.com/jo-willey?allarticles=yes

Not a Chop

2011-09-15T17:02:00.004+01:00

Sauce: Vice's Guide to DPRC

Disco Biscuits

2011-09-12T15:50:00.000+01:00

Dear Belmont Biscuit Co.,

"Disco Biscuits" are already a thing. Your confections did not live up to expectations.

Sincerely,

PTWD

Scumbag Exchange

2011-09-02T13:43:00.002+01:00

MS Exchange Catch-22.

Never Forget...

2011-08-20T18:57:00.001+01:00

...to buy cheap gravy.

Nestlé Launches "Kick You When You're Down" Product Line*

2011-08-20T09:18:00.004+01:00

Problem: 925,000,000 people suffering from malnutrition.

Solution: Prioritise development of luxury items for the pets of affluent westeners.

*by Nestlé I actually mean all First World Nations.

Challenge Accepted

2011-08-15T14:17:00.000+01:00

I Like Turtles

2011-08-04T15:19:00.003+01:00

Sauce: Somewhere on http://www.telegraph.co.uk/

Vive la Révolution!

2011-08-03T08:52:00.002+01:00

Alternative title: Screw you, family-owned sandwich shop!

An Ode To Shit Poetry Used In McDonalds Adverts

2011-07-20T09:26:00.000+01:00

For the scutters and munters
the spotty single mothers
the shut up and eat yer burger mums
daddy'll be back soon, he's out running errands and guns
Extra-large fries, quick before he cries
little miracle got scurvy?
try another fucking McFlurry.

For the shell-suited pimps
one leg rolled up, scavving fag-dimps
dole cheque not cleared yet? Lifesaver: Poundsaver
Look to the spotty kid serving with four stars on his chest
We need no fortune teller - this is your future at its best.

For "4-Big-Macs" guy who orders two Sprites
And the "DIET coke" lady who sneaks in an apple pie
For the sexy young professionals WHO DON'T FUCKING EAT HERE
and the young, slender models who feel tangible fear
We know it's unhealthy and we know you do too
But rejoice: Happy Meal toys! Salads! FRUIT!

Hipster PTWD: Hating on Murdoch before it was cool

2011-07-14T15:03:00.000+01:00

We hated on Murdoch back when he was on vinyl...

Snow Nazi

2011-07-08T12:14:00.003+01:00

Epic put down + 1000 [sauce: cracked.com]

More Breaking News!

2011-07-08T11:48:00.002+01:00

London - News Corporation announce the introduction of a brand new weekly publication.

Breaking News...

2011-06-30T16:35:00.000+01:00

...People being born leads to increased population. Fact.

Dish of the Day!

2011-06-15T09:42:00.003+01:00

I appreciate your honesty, if nothing else.

They See Me Rollin'...

2011-06-15T09:16:00.004+01:00

"Yeah, I'm kind of a big deal. I've made a lot of good decisions in life, which is why I'm rolling around in a £600 car. I'm also an expert in global economics and trade policies. Maybe if those politicians down in that London would take notice of my 'Britain out of Europe' bumper sticker, the rest of the UK could enjoy the same kind of affluence I do."

Price²

2011-06-15T09:08:00.004+01:00

Was £150, now just £9801!

Turkey is the New Ham

2011-06-14T11:27:00.002+01:00

Customer notice seen in the land of chip spice. Why would ham be turkey?

UKIP: A safe vote

2010-05-06T11:16:00.003+01:00

Well if you'd tell us where she's buried...

2010-04-29T16:48:00.002+01:00

...we could officially close the case.

Additionally, have you noticed that an anagram of the name Maddie is "I'm dead"?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8648253.stm

Either way, we're cool

2010-04-24T13:36:00.003+01:00

OMG

2010-01-14T13:54:00.003Z

A bill board by Waterloo station. Cheers God!

Il n'est pas PC en France

2009-12-23T11:54:00.002Z

In France, this is fine. No problems whatsoever. Carry on.

What I Am

2009-12-20T20:53:00.001Z

I, for one, welcome our new bacon overlord

2009-12-10T12:20:00.002Z

Never Cross The Streams!

2009-12-06T22:11:00.002Z

Wait, what?

2009-12-02T11:25:00.002Z

McKinnon Damages Sheet Leaked!

2009-11-27T09:35:00.004Z

Our intrepid reporters have uncovered the breakdown of the $700,000 "damages" that McKinnon caused:

Fixed That For You

2009-11-19T11:21:00.001Z

Sauce: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8367141.stm

DO IT! PLEASE!

2009-11-11T11:41:00.004Z

So, Rupert, you are proposing that my google search string moves from:

to:

?

For the first time in my life, I SUPPORT YOU WHOLE-HEARTEDLY. You shit.

To RIM or not to RIM

2009-11-10T08:10:00.002Z

Objective as always, Auntie Beeb

2009-10-29T14:52:00.003Z

I hope the Microsoft donations that you receive for your "fair coverage" will go someway towards reducing my license fee next year. You shits.

Ok Whiskas, I too am calling your bluff

2009-10-27T15:57:00.002Z

Ah, remembering back to the good old days when domestic cats hunted bulls in the meadow.

Get me Derek Acorah, STAT!

2009-10-27T10:49:00.002Z

Down has apparently stopped using condoms

2009-10-27T10:47:00.002Z

Ad Hominem

2009-10-26T15:48:00.002Z

Thank goodness!

2009-10-26T13:58:00.003Z

Lucky they closed that cunning legal loophole then.

GRIFFIN!

2009-10-23T11:52:00.003+01:00

The headline sounded so exciting too!

Sauce: BBC NEWS | Politics | Griffin attacks Islam on BBC show

I've never cut someone's head off

2009-10-23T09:42:00.001+01:00

Sauce: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/hampshire/8320753.stm

Okay, Whiskas, I'm Calling Your Bluff

2009-10-13T10:50:00.003+01:00

"Food cats would naturally choose" eh? I'm thinking back, but I honestly can't remember the last time I saw a cat foraging for root vegetables...

New Ryanair Surcharge!!

2009-10-06T15:49:00.004+01:00

Under extreme pressure from Eastern European governments worried that their cities are being turned into Blackpool by lager-swilling groups of lads from Britain, Ryanair are planning to introduce a new surcharge, based upon the IQ of the traveller.
Finally a surcharge I can get on board with!

Unions: Still Relevant

2009-09-15T15:09:00.002+01:00

Working hard in your name.

Captain Obvious's First Day Editing The BBC News Feed

2009-09-15T08:29:00.001+01:00

Schwerps

2009-09-11T13:36:00.006+01:00

Schwerps verb (schwerpsed, schwerpsing). intrans (usually to schwerps someone) to behave in a playful sexual manner, to seduce, to make sexual advances. noun someone who schwerpses.
ETYMOLOGY: God knows.

You've Gone Too Far, Bear

2009-09-09T09:08:00.003+01:00

Manhattan Knows Best

2009-09-08T17:06:00.002+01:00

Fun Fact™: Scanned from my own copy of Watchmen. I'd never read a graphic novel before I was given it for Christmas a few years back, and was pleasantly surprised.

Fill The Hole In My Soul, Interest Free

2009-09-02T14:12:00.002+01:00

Gossip: Gimmicks. You're doing them wrong.

2009-09-01T12:36:00.003+01:00

Interesting sponsor, Pampers

2009-08-31T18:45:00.004+01:00

Pedro getting the deal for night-time nappies seems a bit...careless.

Pedro was here

2009-08-31T17:38:00.002+01:00

We lol, but seriously, dudes, none of that shizzle here.

Jay-C's Back!

2009-08-28T09:34:00.005+01:00

Jaycee Lee Dugard's back on the scene.

The Califritzl™ cometh.

Introducing Today's Guest Chop Artist: Microsoft Corp.

2009-08-26T21:26:00.002+01:00

Guys. C'mon. Seriously? Here at ptwd we do this to pass the working day, not as a constructive part of it... ..and we do a far better job.

I'm not even going into the obvious issue here.

Apparently Photoshop Disasters picked up on it yesterday. I saw it on the BBC.

Cougar, Cougar Shining Bright

2009-08-26T09:07:00.002+01:00

FML

Shoop Da Nectar

2009-08-25T17:20:00.002+01:00

Nectar's latest ad campaign is borrowing heavily from a 4chan meme. *FACT.

I guess congratulations are in order for Joshua 2G for hitting paydirt off the back of a three-year-old meme.

Today's Priorities

2009-08-21T11:18:00.000+01:00

Because a Meatball Dressing Gown Would be Ridiculous

2009-08-20T13:37:00.003+01:00

Children need to learn from a young age that everything they do in life is entirely dependent on keeping on the right side of Our Lord and Saviour.

Sometimes, I miss Gen[M]ay

2009-08-20T12:42:00.003+01:00

Clunge Apparel

2009-08-19T16:45:00.004+01:00

Flex: Our target demographic never ceases to amaze.
Leigh: Our razor-sharp targetting of the niche elements of the internets never ceases to amaze me.

Author Of Thinly-Veiled Child-Erotica In Child-Rape Allegation Shocker

2009-08-18T19:27:00.002+01:00

from The Guardian.

Consider My Ass Appeased

2009-08-18T16:36:00.000+01:00

Sauce.

Wikty

2009-08-16T01:59:00.004+01:00

Wiktionary recently ran a competition to design a new logo for the site. This was the "Thumbs Up" entry...

OMG! How Much Cholesterol?

2009-08-15T23:01:00.001+01:00

Daily Mail Justice

2009-08-14T09:16:00.002+01:00

Always Keep The Receipt

2009-08-12T16:44:00.003+01:00

I just found this receipt from Christmas last year. I don't remember buying any "Mullett Power Cards," nor do I know what they are, however, nothing is now more important to me than finding out. My life finally has direction.

Tell me, Cowboy Curtis, What Good is a Phone Call if You Can't Speak?

2009-08-06T11:22:00.002+01:00

Fat AND stupid

2009-08-05T19:16:00.004+01:00

You're Damn Right!

2009-08-05T16:58:00.000+01:00

Noah's Arc?

2009-07-23T12:20:00.002+01:00

I bet fundamentalist Christians love the #1 google image result for Noah's Arc.

Scream Until Daddy Stops

2009-07-14T12:14:00.003+01:00

Not a chop.

I Look Like an Utter Clunge

2009-07-10T15:11:00.003+01:00

I can't imagine what would drive a man to cave my head in.

Looks Like Nick Griffin is Nothing More Than a Fat Racist in a Cheap Suit Afterall

2009-07-09T15:37:00.005+01:00

...who'd of thunk it?

The sad thing is, we brought it upon ourselves (and the rest of Europe) through a combination of voter apathy / retardation.

Source

This Vice article ironically titled "BNP Babes" speaks volumes too.

An Interesting Retention Policy

2009-07-08T09:04:00.002+01:00

A little sketch I did on a post-it note the other day that pretty much sums up the lunacy of the last few months where I work.

Cheaper Car Insurance; You're Doing It Wrong

2009-07-07T10:36:00.005+01:00

The homepage of Aviva's website proudly scrolls through a number of example price-checks comparing their prices to those of their competitors. The only problem is, almost all of their prices are higher than their rivals.

Multilingualols

2009-06-30T17:26:00.004+01:00

Even the online training knows what I am.

Girls Allowed

2009-06-29T12:05:00.003+01:00

...and justice for all.

Original 'Erotic' Fiction here: Girls (Scream) Aloud - strictly NSFW.

Just for the record, I am not down with this sort of thing at all. I've not read it, and don't intend to, but I have been given a synopsis, and it sounds like pretty grim reading.

Fail Bus

2009-06-29T10:37:00.006+01:00

MacPhails Coaches - A big shout out to my Lanarkshire holiday travel massive!

Ashes To Ashes

2009-06-26T19:13:00.002+01:00

Goodnight, Sweet Prince

2009-06-26T15:03:00.002+01:00

The Goat is Squeezing Through the Sphincter

2009-06-23T13:10:00.003+01:00

...not what I was expecting to see in the June issue of National Geographic.

Source: http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2009/06/tag-caves/jenkins-text

Bridgewater Security...

2009-06-22T14:54:00.005+01:00

...blissfully unaware of the Goatse phenomenon.

Facebook: You're Doing It Wrong

2009-06-04T12:48:00.001+01:00

Lost

2009-06-02T12:05:00.002+01:00

The Greek

2009-05-23T14:57:00.001+01:00

Connecting to the internet with an iPhone 3G

2009-04-20T08:47:00.003+01:00

Just in case you haven't experienced it, here it is in a simplified comic-book format.

When you're not using it, you have a full 3G signal most of the time.
You try to connect to the internet and....
You have a full Edge signal until....
You have a full GSM signal...but wait!
Ah, that's the real signal strength!

I guess this is the problem when the sales team have control over technical issues...

Expenses Blunder

2009-04-09T12:26:00.003+01:00